I want to be inspired again. Renew that light in myself that is sparingly found, and unite with the creative part of my mind. I’m tired of the feeling that I’ve grown accustomed to lately; not feeling ‘creative’ in any sense, and being depressed. If life is like that…what’s the meaning of it anyway? If we feel dull and uninspired, what is living even worth? Maybe it’s more that those depressing moments are a part of life, and the creative and electrifying moments that are so seldom are those that make us cherish life. The sad parts are the real parts, and the beautiful parts are the ones that make life worth living. Something to live for. The world is cruel—that’s for sure. That’s such a cliche too, everyone says that. “Oh, you’re just young. When you grow up you’ll realize what the world is like.” Oh yeah? I’m figuring that out now. Children are so naive. I’m beginning to wonder if ignorance truly IS bliss. But then again, maybe not. If I hadn’t had some of the experiences I’ve had in life, I wouldn’t be who I am. Life isn’t meant to be all perfect and wonderful…that’s why we have sin, death, and evil. With those present in the world, there’s no way life could just be great all the time. So since we have to have all that ‘bad’ stuff, maybe those few moments (even if they ARE few) where for an instant, things are okay, are something to be cherished and certainly not taken for granted. Maybe that’s what Heaven is like. Those little moments in life where you feel euphoric, energized, and…beautiful.
In my life, I have seen people walk into the sea just to find memories. Plagued by constant misery, their eyes cast down, fixed upon the ground, their eyes cast down, I’ll keep my eyes fixed on the sun.
-Shake Me Down, Cage the Elephant
I bet that’s what Heaven is. Really. Just an amazing, incredible place that can’t even be expressed through words. Life gets you down, true. But you can’t let it take you there. To that place where you feel like you just go deeper and deeper, no chance of getting out. I know how that spiral feels. Like no one cares, like you’re worth nothing, like you’ll never amount to anything, like there’s no point in anything. But you know what’s wrong with that? (1) God created YOU. You…in all your moments of glory and agony…He created YOU. Out of everyone, He chose to make you the way you are, EXACTLY the way you are. (2) God not only created you, but He created you for a purpose. I have this theory that either you die because you fulfill your duties, or whatever you were set here on earth to do. Or, you die because your death itself is an instrument in fulfilling your duties. In other words, by your death, someone will be touched (by the domino effect) and therefore, your meaning of life will be fulfilled. Back to the beginning…life is difficult. There’s no way of getting around it. But, even though some moments may seem difficult, you have to find that place that centers you. Or else, you’ll be reduced to nothing. Don’t let yourself go there. Keep your eyes fixed on the sun.